Friday, December 21, 2012

A Promise To My Children...

 
I came across a saying, titled "A Promise to my Children" on the internet. As I read it, I couldn't help but feel like the author fell short. The intentions were good, I suppose, but the message is not something that I would feel comfortable conveying to MY child or children. I decided to take the popular "promise" and alter it a bit. Here it is, in its original state:

 
And this is what I disagree with in this saying:
 
1.) Why can't you be a parent AND a friend? Why do those titles need to be prioritized? Parenting is not mutually exclusive of friendship, in my mind.
2.) There are MANY ways to show a child that you love and care for them. Stalking him, flipping out on him, lecturing him, driving him insane and hunting him down like a bloodhound aren't exactly any of the verbs that come to my mind when I think about how to convey my love to my child.
3.) I can think of a whole bunch of ways that my child can convince me he has become a responsible adult. Understanding that I will be his worst nightmare isn't one of those ways.
4.) I will consider myself a failure if, at ANY time, my child mutters under his breath or out loud that he "hates" me. I cannot think of a worse way to evaluate my parenting skills than on the basis of my child stating that he hates me.
 
Do I think that children need to respect their parents? Absolutely. Do I want my child to become a responsible adult? You betcha. Is there anyone else on this earth who will love and care for my child as much as I do? Besides his daddy, probably not. So here is my "better" version of this saying. It is one that I will do my best to live by. And it is something that I will feel comfortable and proud to share with my child.
 
 For as long as I live, I will always be your parent as well as your friend.
I will respect you, listen to you, encourage you, have fun with you,
be your biggest supporter and be available to your needs whenever I have to,
because I love you.  I know that through my modeling of love,
empathy and mutual trust, you will become a caring, empathetic, secure adult.
You will never find anyone else in your life who loves you, cares about you,
and worries about your well being as much as your daddy and I do.
As long as I am able to tell you and show you how much 
I love you every day, I will know that I am doing my job
as your mama properly.