Changes

Before I had Luke, I was the typical Type A personality. I made lists, and I crossed things off as they were accomplished. I was organized. I was on time (I was early, usually). My closet was organized by color. I woke up and met each new day with a desire to accomplish as much as possible. I made phone calls. I went places. I bought things. I wrote emails. I sent texts and cards. I danced around the living room to country music. I kept in touch with all of my friends. I cooked, I cleaned and I rearranged furniture. I was PRODUCTIVE!

After I had my sweet baby, all of that changed. My personality no longer fits into any neat box. I haven't made a list in ages. My house on any given day can range from mostly clean and neat to looking like a tornado blasted through it. I barely ever look in my closet, because all I need is a pair of sweatpants, a sports bra, and a tshirt on most days. I wake up whenever Luke decides it is time to wake up, which is now somewhere between 645 and 745. I get to the laundry when I get to it. My husband now does all the cooking. I text my friends to say hello when I get the chance or when I am nursing Luke to sleep and I have a few free minutes to use my phone.

I am not sure whether or not I would be on time to a function, because I don't have many functions to attend. Around the holidays, we did our best to show up within an hour of the time we planned on. I don't buy much other than groceries these days, which is due, in part, to the fact that neither Mike or I is working and so we are on a tight budget, and also to the fact that my child still refuses to ride in a carseat. (Not familiar with that bit of awesomeness? Here's a link to that story)

None of my furniture has moved since before Luke was born, which I know is very exciting for my husband. He hated that I was always moving things around. If  When I figure out how to move a couch with one arm while holding my baby in the other, the furniture will get rearranged. I wake up each day with desires, but they are just not the same as they used to be.

When my baby was born, my world changed. I am no longer only responsible for myself. I am responsible for this child, and his needs have come first since the day he was born. I am different. And on some days, I struggle with it. When things in my life seemed hectic or out of control before, I could stop what I was doing and go for a run. Or I could take a nap. Or sit on the deck and read a book with a glass of wine. And now, I can't do those things. Not easily anyways. Ok, I'm lying. I can't do any of those things. I haven't yet found a great sports bra to wear running with "nursing boobs." The only time I have to read is after Luke goes to bed and I manage to sneak away from him, and by that time, surely I can't sit on the deck because it is dark. And naps? Ha! I am lucky to fall asleep when L naps, but even then, he is nursing and if you have ever tried to take a nap while feeding a child, you know it just isn't that great of a nap. But now, my days aren't hectic or out of control. They are unstructured, but they are great. I'm raising a child.

Now my days consist of quickie showers, lots of babywearing, and singing and dancing to  "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes." I can build a mean tower out of wooden blocks, and my "choo choooooo" noise is totally realistic sounding. I have perfected the art of going to the bathroom as quickly as possible and shutting the toilet lid before Luke gets his fingers smashed. I can run down the basement steps, change the laundry, and get back up in under a minute. I know exactly the right temperature for running bath water, and I could cut up fruit and veggies into the perfect size for little fingers with my eyes closed.

My life is so much different now than it was before the world was blessed with my baby. My life now is SO much better. And I am more productive than I ever thought possible.